Doctor in the House

Dr. is an abbreviation for "doctor", a title used by medical practitioners for, well, "doctor", which is an occupation and a profession. 

But it is also used, and jealously guarded, by university postgraduates to reflect the award of a PhD, a doctor of philosophy, which is a title awarded for the production of a postgraduate thesis (on jam making, for example) by a BA (bachelor of arts) or a BSc (bachelor of science) graduate, some of whom are critical of medical graduates, who have the degree of MB, BS - Bachelor of Medicine, Bachelor of Surgery - also known  as "doctors" - for having the audacity to use the title of, well, "Doctor".

Not only is this a bit confusing, but then veterinary science and dentistry graduates (and even some deluded pharmacists) have relatively recently become inclined to use the title "Doctor". 
And to add to the confusion, surgeons tend to call themselves "Mister".

(As a helpful rule of thumb, if you've got a problem such as excruciating scrotal pain, the doctor you need is the bloke in a white coat and a stethoscope at a hospital, not the bloke in corduroy slacks and a turtleneck sweater in the coffee shop at the university.)

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If I sound a bit pissed off, it's because after 6 years as an undergraduate medical student, 2 years as a resident medical officer, 3 years as a post-graduate registrar in my specialty, and 33 years as a consultant (most of this entailing serious sleep-deprivation, 10 hour rostered shifts and 24 hour rostered on-call, a lot of which involves making life or death decisions for people in need of expert help), I reckon I've earned the right to call myself a doctor, because those things are what a fucking doctor does. 

Indeed, the dictionary definition ot the verb "doctor" is "To give medical treatment to."

Veterinary Scientists are fine, noble human beings who universally surrender themselves to five years of rigorous university training in the cause of addressing animal suffering. 

There is bugger-all glamour in their work, and little status, but they are highly skilled and devoted to their calling. 

A few of these noble men and women use the honorarium of "Doctor," and fair enough, I suppose, although Northern English farmers have settled on "Vetinry" as a respectful title.

As a bunch of human beings, they are infinitely more attractive than medical doctors and totally untouched by pretension, yet their level of skill and knowledge is at least on a par with some medicos.

I've got to admit, though, that as a chatting-up gambit for a quick bit of how's-your-father in the scub-up room, a doctor's "Don't touch me nurse, I'm sterile" is more of a sure-fire winner than a vet's "Sorry about the smell, the last patient shat on my shoe."