Conversation with God

(muffled shouting coming from my pocket)

HOW DID YOU GET THIS NUMBER?
YOU CAN'T JUST RING ME UP!!

(fumble)

Jeez, I dunno, mate. Musta bum-dialled ya.


LOOK, I'M VERY BUSY. 

IF YOU'VE GOT A PROBLEM, SPEAK TO ONE OF MY STAFF AND THEY WILL TRY TO HELP YOU. 
GOODBYE.

(click)
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(redial)


YOU AGAIN! (threateningly) THERE ARE THINGS I CAN DO , YOU KNOW...

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I was just thinking, since I've got your number, there are a coupla things you could do for me.



(prolonged silence)


OK. I'll GIVE YOU ONE THING.
LETS HAVE IT.

Well, if you don't mind me saying, it's all going a bit kinda shit-shaped down here - the weather, the Covid thing, Trump and those other clowns that are running the bloody show....

I SAID ONE THING! 
AND GET ON WITH IT, I'M REALLY BUSY!


OK. It's the bloody neighbours. They never bring the rubbish bins in, they park across my driveway, they....

beep, beep, beep....



Hello? ........... God?